Happy Wednesday, Blogland!
Shay and Alissa have come up with yet another great "Whatever Wednesday" topic. It is a more serious one this week, one that could relate to love, loss, hardship, etc..
I'm someone who always tries to be open and honest, and can often say too much, especially when writing or talking to someone with whom I'm comfortable, but for me it is therapy.
So, (deep breath) here we go, and the topic this week is...
F I R S T H E A R T B R E A K
To be honest, I had to take some time with this. See if I could share this, write this, and revisit this particular time.
I came to the conclusion, after writing, and then, erasing a few times, that the forms of heartbreak I know, where eating, sleeping and simply breathing hurts, are both still too fresh in my heart to fully write about, even 2-3 years later.
Some moments from this time have never been spoken, and as much as I am someone who can sometimes say too much, this is a little too personal.
So, instead, I'm going to touch on some of the effects they had on me, and things I learned during this time, to possibly help someone else.
It's true, some moments in life are unexpected. A word that encompassed this time with this person for me, but in those moments you can learn, grow and find a strength you didn't know you had.
Like many say, never walk away without letting someone know you care about them, even in times when you might not be too happy with them.
It doesn't matter how young, fit or healthy you are, in a moment, and without warning, your heart could stop or an emergency could strike.
Sitting by someone's bedside in the ICU, the night of your best friend's wedding, and day in and day out to follow, and having to see them hooked up to machines with endless tubes and continuous beeping sounds, will have an affect on you...possibly forever.
Incidents like this can cause you to suddenly notice defibrillators in every airport, restaurant, store, etc., that somehow you never saw prior, and the mere sight of them can leave you feeling anxious.
Having to start fresh, in some aspects, due to a person no longer having memory of some crucial moments, will not always fix them or make things better in the long run, it's like pushing dirt under the rug.
Trying to believe that a life changing event happened for a reason, in hopes the event will have a positive affect on the person and their outlook on life, can lead to disappointment. Especially, when the complete opposite occurs, and for the worse.
When someone who is about to be your forever, looks you in the eye, with a very cold stare and says, "I have nothing to be happy about," it will cause your willingness to continue trying to dissipate. Particularly, when your instincts and heart have been telling you it hasn't been right for some time...always trust them.
You can't always stay with someone simply because you don't want to give up on them or you feel stuck. When it is no longer healthy for you, it is best to close the chapter, and find the happiness you both deserve elsewhere, while being thankful for all it taught you.
I believe so strongly in patience, positivity, a smile and seeing the best in others and situations, with a true love for life, people and travel, and now know, without a doubt, that I need, and deserve, that in the person who stands by my side for the rest of my adventure here.
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